incurable paranoiac

hysterical depression

free to vomit my own being
19 September
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caution: potentially triggering material inside.

´´If you can´t discover what´s keeping you in, the will to get out soon becomes confused and ineffectual.´´ ISHMAEL, Daniel Quinn

Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.

--Sylvia Plath, "Lady Lazarus," 1966

"Life seemed like too long a time to have to stick around, a huge span of years through which one would be required to tap-dance and smile and be Great! and be Happy! and be Amazing! and be Precocious! I was tired of life by the time I was sixteen...I was tired of people, and I was incredibly tired of myself. I wanted to do whatever Amazing Thing I was expected to do... and be done with it. Go to sleep. Go to a heaven where there was nothing but bathtubs and books."
-- Wasted, M. Hornbacher

A woman watches her body uneasily, as though it were an unreliable ally in the battle for love. Leonard Cohen
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